it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
