Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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