he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
