Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
