I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
we're chasing vodka with high fives
they need to just BURY HIM!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
