And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
