yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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