grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
