ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
