on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
