is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
