so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
