just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
