I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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