dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
