I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
