Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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