He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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