It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
