Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
