I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
