You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
