Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry dirkajihad hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(406): View more from Montana

Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.

Fav 2 1552 988
share tweet
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs

Fav 12 3106 1285
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(908): View more from New Jersey

): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.

Fav 29 8550 901
share tweet
(337): View more from Louisiana

They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.

Fav 11 5778 999
share tweet
(702): View more from Nevada

You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year

Fav 45 5106 939
share tweet
(201): View more from New Jersey

Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage

Fav 13 5069 1301
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(919): View more from North Carolina

I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.

(1-919): View more from North Carolina

Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.

Fav 3 4670 1225
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer

Fav 2 471 205
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(470): View more from Georgia

I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K

Fav 1 5 26
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT