I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
