everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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