did you get engaged???
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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