with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
