He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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