Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
