your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
