HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
