So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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