He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
handjob tips. give me some.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
