This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
