Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
