if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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