oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
