Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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