you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
