hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
