It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
