Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Randomize
