So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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