let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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