Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
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