I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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