I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
