Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.

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(416): View more from Ontario

What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we

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(602): View more from Arizona

Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.

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(904): View more from Florida

Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP

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(908): View more from New Jersey

And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".

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