whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
