Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
